Cravings yesterday and today.

Yesterday was hard but I went to bed without overeating or eating anything that I doent have planed on. I havent eaten anything of my foodplan yet, but when things doesent get as I have planed I get stressed. I have dyslexia so I need to plan my homework so that I have time for reading, but today things in school got in between and I doent like to cut class even if it is to make homework. When I get stressed I swell and have carvings. Havent acted on them, so Ïm good for now. Soon I will open a meating here at school and hopefully people will come so that I have someone to share with.

Tomorrow I will check my ketos status and do my shoulder workout.

Love and light!

Triggers, behaviors.

Here I have written down some of my behaviors and states of mind that can trigger me to eat.

HALT
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tierd

No foodplan, no plan is planing to relaps
Look at tv/movie/film and eat. I doent know how much I have eaten
Traveling, can expose me to new situations that I doent know how to handle
Meeting my parents, they are disfunktional and wants me back in my old self
Restaurant visits, I doent allways know what they have in the meals
The smell of baked bread, that is not a good thing for me becouse bread is my LOVE
Bake bread,  is a huge trigger
Eating between meals, smal meals gives me cravings and I end up eating more then I should
Euforia, big emotion that makes me feel like a superwoman
Fysical changes, Ive never been thin so when my body changes I get scared
Be sick, I want to eat to get well
Be affraid, wich is sometiing that I am alot

Love and light

Deadliftday!

It feels like my body havent adapted to the ketondiet yet. Im sure that it will take some time and after that I will be stronger. Today I did what I had said that I would do in my training rutine but not more. I havent lost any strenght, but my body doesent awnser like before.

This is what I did. 5*5 at 130kg.

And offcourse I can get the pic in to my computer. This is just my lucky day!

Love and light!

Stronger KETOS!

I checked my ketos this morning and now its stronger. Here are the ketostix that I use, they look like this.

And this pic shows the color purple, the more purple the stick is the stronger ketos.

Love and Light

Bench training

to day. I it all began with me forgetting my camera at home, so I doent have any pic. You all just have to belive me.

When I was changing clohtes I was frozen, and after my warm up I was all good again. This is what I did, Warmup: push ups from knee and toe and cablecross.
Bench: 65kg, 5 reps in 5 sets, a 5*5 as we say here in Sweden. I think that is a very good start to build strenght and as you get stronger you can do 3*3s and some 2*2s.
I also do bench with dumbbells and then triceps pushes. The last 2 exersices I do to complete my bench training and to variate.

Now I will make myself some food so, Love and Light!

Stronger ketos

when I checked my ketos this morning the space that indicated ketos was even more purple than 2 days ago so YEEH
This sunday I will spend som time with 12-step friends, I will just LOVE that time. My friends are my best of all, they have tought me how friendship can feel like, and how it is real.

In the afternon I will do some bench training, more oabut that later.

Love and Light.

My legs are hurting

from the legtraining yesterday. Thats nice and all good!

To day we (Me, Niklas, Louice and Simone) went secondhand shopping, thats something that I really injoy.

This is what I bought

Just lovely.

Tomorrow its benchday.

Love and light!

My squat training

was all good. One thing that happens after the leg training is that I get a headache, but that passes.

I started to warm up with some legpresses at 100kg, 10 reps in 3 sets.

I also warm up with some legcurl at 35kg 10 reps in 3 sets. 

After warm up I start to squat. I start at 60kg, 80kg, 100kg. At 60kg with 5 reps, then only 2-3 reps until Im at 110kg. At that weight I do 3 reps in 5 sets. As a last thing I do pausedsquat at 80kg, 10 reps in 2 sets.

All of the pis are taken at my localgym there I go to school.

Love and Light!

Week KETOS!

This morning when I was taking my ketos, I saw some purple and that menas that Im in KETOS, a very week one but its all comming now.

Love and Light!

So what happend?

Well let me just say this, I cant have everyting and sometimes I must exept that things take time. I planed for my squat day today but no time left for that. I had planed a meeting that I thought was going to take 20 minutes as max, but no, this meeting took over 1 hour and then it was time for bed. So a full day at school, a meeting that took alot of my time there was no energy or time left for my squat. Im not really sad for that, I just do it tomorrow.

Love and Light to you all

New day,

new questions of life comming my way. But first, Good morning to you all.

My day yesterday was not one of my best, so today I wont make any plans without thinking it thru first. What Im talking about is caffein and thoose trigger food I eat yesterday.

Today Im strong!

Light and Love to you all!

Cravings.

I thinkt that it all started yesterday and just kept going on today. It dident start as a big thing, it just sneeked up on me and I did make some bad choices.

I was under some pressure today, homework that was going to be presented infront of the class and then feedback to me on how I am on giving and reciving critics, possitiv and negativ.

That made my emotions go upp and down, with I got cravings of.

I see now that I eat some of my trigger food today as a medicin and tooo much caffein, no good at all.

I will wright down my trigger foods and behaviors that gives me cravings, just to share that with you all makes it all better.

Thanks for today

Start with the rising of the sun

 and the birds singing. I woke up 1,5 h before the alarm set of and eat my breakfast 20 min before I usualy get up. The day was looking good and I had some things to do before school and alot of time on my hands. Wensday is a long school day and I toled myself that this will be a rest day.

I tried my sticks for KETONS and had none in my urin. Not good, hopefully I will have tomorrow.

That was my morning.

Shoulder training. Tuesday the 1 of mars.

So I did my shoulder work out that I have based on this Ortmayer/Magnusson deadlift routine.

http://www.sizematters.com.au/training-workout-advice/29616-magnusson-ortmayer-deadlifts.html

I doent increase so much in weight, but the principle is the same, with sets and reps. Its going realy good for me.

Shoulderpress with bar.
4*4 at 65kg
1*2 at 72,5kg
1*2 at 77,5kg
1*+8 at 65kg

The workout felt easy and Im getting there!

Got Help!

I have been in contact with a woman who work with sugeraddicts/foodaddicts and she will make a foodplan that hopefully will work for me. I got sent thru email a bunch of questions that was about food and behavior that I have around food. What it has been like for me when I was a litle child and thru to now. It feelt very nice and good that she also wants to know about my relationship to food, not only my food intake. For me as a food addict its allways a tricke thing, food. I cant be a lovely, caring person with good health and clear mind if I huzzle with food. I have never succceded with fastening becouse Im to much of a substance user and want my kick now, not two hours later or five minutes later.

And who knows a person who is anorexic and have a pease of mind, is loving and caring about their friends and family, is taking care of their selfs and is a part of the socity?

Love and Light to you all!